You can now buy me for $99. I knew it would happen eventually. Having an unusual Swedish last name meant that it was only a matter of time before IKEA used it to market something or other. The other day, my lovely and talented friend Eric Fell pointed out that I am now featured in the new IKEA catalogue. Yes. Nyfors is now a lamp. Its special instructions read much like the person it references. We both can be made dimmer with the flip of a switch (in my case, the switch is booze); we both require assembly (in my case, a lot of makeup and hair products); we both have a base that is much larger than its top. (in my case, well….enough said about my ass).
The Nyfors lamp from IKEA
I always thought my surname Nyfors (pronounced N-eye-fours) was easy, but, for some reason, very few people can spell or pronounce it correctly. All my life, I have been referred to as Knee-fors, Nyfords or (much to the distress of my young overweight self) Knives and Forks. In Sweden, the name means “new cascade”; in Canada, it is an improved brand of dishwasher detergent.
My father also suffered the pains of an unusual name. He was born Boo Nyfors.. In Sweden, “Boo” means “first born son”; here in Canada, it is the sound ghosts make. My dad decided to switch to his second name after giving a speech at a work function. The host, in order to welcome him to the stage, said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Boo Nyfors.” Of course, some drunk guy in the front row took dad’s name to be a verb and started booing him. From that point on, dad insisted on being known as Evert or Ev.…..or as 100% of his mail would state, Everest or Eve.
Fortunately, in order to give their daughter an easy ride in Canadian society, my parents chose to give me the sexy cheerleader sounding name of Margret (pronounced by all as Marg-RAT). Of course, it is spelled the Swedish way because my dad had a huge crush on Ann-Margret. When I tell people to spell it like Ann-Margret, they say either “Who?” or “Oh…you look nothing like her…why would your parents name you that?”
Ann-Margret: Yes. I look nothing like her.
To make things interesting, my parents gave me a middle name that starts with the letter “E” which means that all my monogrammed towels spell “MEN” – an anagram that constantly gives the wrong impression as to the success of my social life.
After doing a bit of research on the Nyfors name, I came to realize that there are very few Nyfors People around…..and there are even fewer of us in North America. But, I do know now that the name Nyfors is a typographical font; it is a city in Sweden; it is a fibre optics company….and now, it is a lamp. Even though this name has given me mild grief over the years, I am proud of it. All the people I know who were born a Nyfors are absolutely wonderful, loving, funny folks. Okay, Nyfors lamp…make us proud.
