Posts tagged ‘dog stories’

June 4th, 2010

Dog Park

Dog Park

All of life’s lessons can be learned at the dog park.  Having watched my big old dog Brutus interact with some of his peers at our local dog park, I can see a lot of truth there.  Here are some of the lessons, he/ I have observed:

  • A wagging tail will get a better response than growling teeth.
  • You have to clean up your own crap.  No one else will do it for you.  It is the responsible thing to do.  You can pretend the crap didn’t happen but everyone knows it is your crap and thinks you are lame for not dealing with it.
  • You have more fun in life when you are off leash than when you are on.
  • Some dogs, no matter how hard you try to be nice, simply will not like you.  Stop struggling to sniff their butt.  Move on.  It’s their loss.
  • The other dog’s stick will always look more attractive than the stick you have in your mouth.  If you take that dog’s stick, he will just take the one you dropped and then you will want that one.  It is a vicious cycle to be avoided.  Be happy with the stick that you have.
  • Humping is fun at any time of the day.
  • Some times you just have to eat things that are not good for you.  Yes, that includes rotten dead squirrels.
  • Barking will get you attention in the short run.  In the long run it will get you banned from the dog park. 
  • There will always be dogs that can run faster than you.  Use your brain and your experience to get the ball.  If that doesn’t work, use your big barrel chest to bump the ball out of their mouth when no one is looking.
  • Cats can never be trusted. 
  • Digging for dirt will get you in trouble. 
  • You can teach an old dog new tricks…except for fetch. 
  • Your true friends will want to play with you even after you have been skunked.
  • Just because a dog is cute, it doesn’t mean he is nice.   If he is wearing an pretentious outfit, it means you should pity him.
  • The happiest dogs are the ones you want to hang out with the most.
  • Play every day regardless of your age.

If I had been to the dog park earlier in life, most of the mistakes in my 20s would not have happened.  Dogs are so wise.

Best dog sign ever!

CategoryUncategorized | Comment2 Comments »

Tags:
November 6th, 2009

Mutant Pets

Mutant Pets

I have an affinity for mutant pets.  All the pets I have ever owned have had something horribly wrong with them.  I currently own two cats.  Puddy is an old orange cat with emotional eating problems and a serious addiction to catnip and tissue paper.  Soda Fish is a Bengal mix cat with a gimpy paw, head injury and missing tooth.  He likes to gum the couch when he thinks no one is looking.

I went to the Vancouver SPCA with the intent of breaking this pattern.  I wanted a small young, healthy, well adjusted dog to add to my menagerie of Chrysalides pets at home.  When I got there, the SPCA adoption gal Anne-Marie said, “Oh no….you don’t want that type of dog.  I have the dog for you.”

She led me to his cage.  Inside, was not my dog.  This dog was old, sad, and huge. His name was Brutus and he was a Rottweiler/ lab mix.  Unfortunately for Brutus, all the cute parts of both breeds missed his gene pool.  Think big, black drooling devil dog and you have Brutus.  Anne-Marie suggested I take him for a walk.  At 85 pounds of pull power, he more or less took me for a walk.  The entire time, Brutus did not look at me or wag his tail.  This was not my dog.  I retuned Brutus to the shelter and lied to Anne-Marie that I liked him but felt we didn’t connect so he would be best in another home. 

The following week, I continued to think of Brutus.  I kept checking the SPCA website to see if he was still there and every day I was met with his sad, drooling picture.  The next Saturday, with the image of this big, devil dog haunting me, I drove back to the SPCA to take him for another walk.  By then, Anne-Marie had more information on him.  Brutus had been chained outside by previous owners and neglected.  He also had a list of other problems:  infected teeth, hypothyroidism, social anxiety, stubbornness, fear of noises and dog acne.  This was seriously not my dog! 

I took him out for a walk anyway and, for about 20 minutes, he pulled me around the area. Then we sat on the lawn near the shelter and I looked at him closely.  He avoided eye contact for the longest time.  Then, he quickly looked me in the eyes and gave me the smallest of tail wags.  Sigh.  With that, I was smitten.  This was totally my dog. 

I adopted him that day.  Since then, I have learned a lot more about Brutus. 

Things I now know about my new old dog

  • He is a wimp.  He is terrified of the cats.  (Although, they do “work it” by circling him slowly when he is trying to sleep.)
  • He loves bunnies and will chase them if given the chance.  If you are holding the leash when this happens, it means you will also be chasing bunnies by default.
  • He likes to wedge his 85 pound body onto my tiny loveseat and pretend to look comfortable. 
  • His tail wag could be declared a lethal weapon.  It can clear the coffee table with a single sweep.
  • His devil dog appearance terrifies the good people of Kitsilano and they will pull their designer dogs away from him. Perhaps if he had a more hipster name like Tristan or Toby and wore a bandana scarf they would be more okay with him.  Chances of that happening is 0%
  • He has a brain aneurism if you pick up a stick and look like you might throw it.  His greatest joy in life is chasing a stick.
  • He whimpers when he is happy.  He whimpers when he is sad.  He whimpers.
  • Finally, he is a wonderful dog with a great loving personality.  I am very proud to say “Yes. This is my big old devil dog.”

Thanks Anne-Marie and the fine folks at the Vancouver SPCA.  You were totally right.  Brutus is the perfect dog for me.

A happy dog and his stick

CategoryUncategorized | CommentNo Comments »

Tags: