Kitsgal.com

Halloween Time

Halloween is the best day on the planet.  As a very shy kid, it was so fun to be able to transform into something that I was not for a few hours.  Plus, it was the only time of the year when my parents actively encouraged my sister and I to go out and take free candy from strangers.

When I was growing up in Burns Lake, months of Halloween costume planning was always ruined by the first major blizzard of the year.  The two events coincided religiously.   When I hear kids in my Kitsilano neighbourhood whine about having to walk up and down stairs to get treats, I twinge with the impulse to tell stories about how, when I was young, I trudged through five foot snow drifts to get a single treat sized Snickers bar… but I digress…

Despite the blizzards in Burns Lake, the people handing out the candy were always so supportive and enthusiastic. 

“Hey! What a great costume,” they would say to the hordes of kids in identical snow boots, snowsuits, mittens and balaclavas that would parade to their door asking for treats.  We looked like a casting call for an episode of South Park, but in our minds we were so different.

My costumes were never cute or scary.  They were “creative”.  While all my comrades were pirates, princesses or zombies, I would be Muriel Applebottom – Bunny Hunter Extrodinaire, or My Dad’s Box of Tangled Christmas Lights or The Lost Panel of a Bazooka Joe Comic Strip.  Needless to say, most of my costumes were not met with an “OOOO…how cute” or an “Awwww…adorable”, they were met with an “Oh, and what are you again?”  Still I wore my costumes with conviction and people gave me candy anyway, so they rocked!

My mom’s expensive, guest use only, King sized silk pillow cases were the preferred treat bag of choice but it was often hard to sneak them out of the house before she noticed.  Although, one year, I did use my cousin’s hockey duffle bag until some judgemental lady ruined my fun when she called me “greedy”. Mostly, I just used a Hefty garbage bag.  Because rippage could be a problem it was important to come prepared with backup bags and maybe a sled.

Out on the hunt, it was amazing how quickly information spread on the kid treat network.  With no twitter, facebook, or texting, to link us, we mind-melded together with the singular purpose of getting as much sugar as possible.  By remaining connected to the kid treat network, you quickly knew which houses gave out two chocolate bars instead of one, which were making you sing, which were giving out raisins….and which were giving out CANS OF POP!!!  

I know kids in here in Kits stay out collecting candy until they get tired or bored, but in Burns Lake, we stayed out until medically ordered indoors due to frostbite or hypothermia.  Hard core does not accurately describe an 8 year old Burns Lake kid on a mission for candy.

Arriving home with our loot, my parents insisted on inspecting all treats for safety concerns.  Surprisingly, there was a high ratio of tainted Aero bars and Glosette raisins (my parents’ favourites) but we were too hyped up and inexperienced in the ways of the world to realize that our own parents were stealing from us. 

The next two days began the hierarchy of snacking.  We would eat through our treat bag like layers of an archaeological dig.  Chocolate bars were eaten first.  Then Tootsie rolls Then Glosette peanuts.   And then….ugh….because there was nothing else left, jaw breakers, Pez circles and gum.  It would take two to three days of concentrated effort to consume all the sugar in those king sized pillow case bags.  But we did it!!  Once it was all done, we crashed in a sugar coma for two weeks….and woke up just in time to start dreaming of all the treats coming for Christmas!! 

 

Been Dumped 

Last week, I was dumped. Not by a boyfriend…no, by a friend. Essentially, I was fr-umped. And you know what? It hurt just as much. 

I was friends with Steve for a few years. We shared a common bond and interests and were always a good support system for each other. But we live very far apart so our contact was infrequent but fun. Then he met Tracey….

The dumping came via email. The body of the email read something like this (roughly paraphrased):

Dear Maggie,

Joyous news, joyous news (engaged!), joyous news, interesting gossip, whoa too much information, joyous news.

Final paragraph: So I hope you will understand that we can no longer be friends. Please do not contact me and I will not contact you in the future.

Sincerely,

Steve.

Flash to Maggie with jaw on floor, hole in heart and ego profoundly pierced. Whoa!!!  Whaaaat??? What do you mean you are terminating our friendship? I had no idea you could do that.

You see, I have always held onto friends and I never think of ending relationships… unless, of course, they produce a restraining order. I mean, sure, I have let friendships slide….you know….take longer and longer to return calls, deny a friendship on Twitter or remove their name from the Christmas card list….but I have never outright told someone that I no longer wanted to be their friend. Hmmm….does that make me a coward? Don't answer that!

I find close friendships are so much harder to come by these days. It is tricky to make new friends – perhaps that is why I hold onto the ones I have so dearly. I liked how you made friends in the past. They were kind of created for you by your teachers, your parents, your brownie leader – sort of like the same random system they use in prisons to create cell mates - and yet somehow it worked..... we never questioned why we were friends – we just did stuff together and had fun.

Cheryl became my childhood best friend simply because her last name came right after mine alphabetically in the roll call in grade one. This meant we were paired up for every science project, reading project and field trip from age 6 to age 18. Cheryl and I grew so much together. It was great to have a buddy through the awkward times that come with young life. Short list of awkward times:

• cute boys (eg. Shaun Henderson) who didn’t know we existed
• white pants and our first period
• denting the family car on our very first outing to the mall after assuring our parents that we were good enough drivers to take the car out on our own

It was all good Beverly Hills 90210 style stuff…..but only if Beverly Hills 90210 was set in Burns Lake and it starred two heavier, much nerdier girls.

After we started working, Cheryl and I drifted apart. Cheryl got married, moved far away (to Maple Ridge), had kids and we lost touch. But I still think of her….fondly. The friendship never ended….it just fell into the ebe and flow of life. I think that is what I will miss with this frumping. With the finality, it will be harder to look back at the friendship with nostalgia. There will always be a sting to it. That makes me sad.

I know in this case it can be hard to be friends with the opposite gender. I saw When Harry Met Sally. (Was I the only one that found the scene in the diner with Meg Ryan to be a tad uncomfortable?) If a friend's partner is the jealous type, it is game over. That is fine. I understand.  I wish Steve only good things.

With my frumping, of course, I went through the classic seven stages of grieving in order to heal.  These stages happen in this order:

• grape popsicles
• chunky monkey ice cream
• pizza
• salt and vinegar chips
• pancakes
• Aero bar
• and, finally, cake

It made me feel better (about the situation) and worse (about the potential weight gain). And it reminded me to actively appreciate the friends that I have in my life …..I love ‘em…..I am going to send them a Christmas card right now. Hugs.